My sexual awakening and first couple sexual experiences

From where I am today I can laugh about these experiences.

I sexually started awakening when I was in 5th grade. Even though I tried on a few times I failed with the opposite sex, either because of being rejecting, rejecting an offer myself or being oblivious to what was in front of me.

I have got to say my favorite blunder during this time was "L".

When I was at Windsor, I mentioned to another kid that I had a crush on "L". Little did I know that I would be cornered by her and her friends days later. She told me that she didn't see me that way and it that was the first time a girl made me cry.

2 yrs later the dumbass that I was, was put in a scenario to ask her out. This kid I had in my class named Andrew knew I liked her, was friends with her and kept pestering me to basically man up and ask her out. Finally I decided to go for it. After class I stopped her in the hall and began to speak. I was so nervous that I totally blew it. I remember it like yesterday. Instead of keeping it short and sweet, my brain decided to reject myself before she had a chance to. Out my mouth came "Hey 'L' I was wondering if you'd like to go on a date. it's ok if you say no because I'm only asking you because this is a dare". Her smile faded and she walked away.

The next 5 years were a sequence of routine. For the most part, avoid talking to people at school unless necessary (my self image and my experiences with classmates reinforced this) then after school masterbating to TRL, movies and sometimes cartoons.

Fast forward to age 17.

Definitely have to thank my friend Patrick for these ones.

Going into the summer between my junior and senior year I had yet to kiss a kiss a girl after starting puberty.

One day Patrick hit me up, said he wanted to see his girlfriend who was visiting her cousin in buffalo grove and wanted me to tag along. Obviously I was innocent and didn't know shit when it came to women. While hanging out the cousin and I hit it off so patrick and his girl left the room to be alone. I ended up making out with this girl for 45 mins, but I didn't have the stones to go for sex, a blowjob or even try to finger her.

I kicked myself in the ass for that mistake and promised myself that if I found myself in a similar situation I would at least attempt to move it forward.

A few weeks later, I found myself with Patrick at the local teen center. While hanging out Patrick ended up talking to some girls. Turns out the indian girl had a crush on me. Patrick told me and I took her for a walk to rec park. On the way we talked about meaningless stuff. When we got to the building I checked the side door and to my surprise I found it to be open. I took her to the basement and we started making out in a semi dark room. I got aroused and decided to unzip my pants and pull my cock out. I put her hand on it and she looked at me quizzically, I gently pushed down on the top of her head and told her to put it in her mouth.

I fucked her face until I came in her mouth. Afterwards she swallowed then asked (and I shit you not) "Am I going to have a baby now?". I wasn't really into her, but she was into me wanting to be my girlfriend. I made up some bullshit about how I was going to be a senior in high school and she was 15 so it would never work out because we were from different worlds. Then tried to pawn her off on Patrick.