Thursday, May 8, 2014
Let’s set the scene. Its 9:30. I am just leaving gymnastics. I’m tired I don’t want to go out, I wanna go home and sleep. I check my phone. I have a message from a friend telling me it’s gonna be on at green iguana. Supposedly I’m definately wanna check this out.
I shower and do all the typical shit. Its raining like an s.o.b. I’m thinking this isn’t my night at all. I get there and im walking around. I talk to a couple people. No sign of any my friends. While waiting I run into this girl I hooked up with on date but blew she me off on a second date.
Definitely awesome because she was sposed to have date 3 with me earlier today. End up running into everyone.
We split and do our own thing. I start meeting some new people. Meet up again with my friends again. Open a couple more. Feeling like leaving. I go out to the patio to smoke a cigarette. I start talking to this girl and her friend. The hotter one grabs my ass then the not hot one wants us all to dance. I don’t feel like it. So the hot one tells her friend well be here if she needs us. We chill for a bit talk, make out and feel each other up.
Time passes, we see her friend again and then she’s off to dance again. My girl wants to dance and I dont feel like it so I pull her outside to cube her. I don’t get that far cause she’s got some psychic test she wants to run on me so I play along.
Get done with that and I tell her I’m starving and that I’m gonna leave. I tell her to join me. Shes like "sure lets find my friend". Find her friend and I just give her the lowdown that we are leaving to get food and she should come (I don’t want her to come. I’m just being polite). She declines.
Get outside and on the way to the car I "realize" that its late and that nothings open. Oh well lets go to my place.
Get her here. Have her make me a sandwich from my fridge. Then bang her for 2 hrs. All and all a good night.
Apr 22nd 2007 - Girl # 47 – The one from Match.com
So this weekend I was in Bradenton as normal with my wing. Sun afternoon came by and it was time to go. I had a date to go to. On our first date I couldn’t get past making out.
I got home and checked my email. I had a wink from this chick off an internet dating site so I sent her a message that was pretty cocky funny. She hit me back within an hour on my IM service while I was getting ready. I talked to her for like 10 minutes then arranged for her to come here so we could go shoot some stick.
Called my date and cancelled in a slick way.
Internet girl shows up and we hit the pool hall for like two hours. All I did the whole time was get to know her, tease her, being cocky and interesting. I made out with her and it was on. She started rubbing the inside of my leg. I told her lets get out of here. We went back to my place. No resistance at all. Very nice and tight vagina
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
It was January of 2006, Mark and I had arranged a vacation in Colorado with J.B. and his buddy Luke. Mark and I drove there so we could make some money along the way and take a week off when the others arrived. For a week we partied and hit the slope in breckenridge. One such night we had started the day drinking and by night fall I was plastered. I saw my evolution go from coherent to completely retarding my chances with this hot black chick. Knowing fully that I was well past that point of being able to sober up I continue to get tanked. It didn’t matter to me though because the condo we were staying at was within walking distance.
When the lights came on for closing time I stumbled outside and started talking to this cute chick. Turns out she was there with her fiancé and her sister. After a few minutes they invited me to come party. The sister was nothing special to look at and I think in hindsight they offered to try to get the sister laid.
In the backseat, her and I started to fool around. When the sister and the fiancé went into a gas station to grab snacks I pulled my dick out and convinced the sister to start blowing me. We were caught shortly after. Next half an hour ended up being a blur of mountain road and the sister fucking me in the backseat.
If I had known then what I know now, I wouldn’t have gone. When we got there we were forced to hang out and eventually sleep in the living room. Did I mention that the dogs had shit ALL over the house and it reeked of feces. I won’t up hungover and repulsed by the stench. I hurried up, got ready and they dropped me off. Later that afternoon I realized in my haste that I forgot my Movado.
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Numbers 28 and 29 are question marks in my book.
Number 30- Alma- I’m met this 38yr old Hispanic milf while I was out partying at bamboo room. While cruising thru the club looking for girls to hit on and feeling in between pleasantly buzz and kina shitfaced I ran into this chick. I commented about how I liked the dress she was wearing. She lit up and we started chatting. The conversation went the typical route. Lots of teasing and just getting to know each other. We ended up making out, exchanging numbers and I went off to my friends. Later in the night, she sent me a text asking if she could get a ride home. I hadn’t driven that night, but my buddy mark had. I was curious to see what would end up happening so I told her yes.
I was drunk by this time and in no condition to drive so I was stuff with Mark as the third wheel. I hoped in the back with her as Mark played schouffer. Definitely had an awesome vibe the entire time, but couldn’t capitalize on anything. It was cool though because she wanted to hang out again.
Later on in the week we set up a date to hang out at her place, watch a movie and have a couple drinks. As the night progresses I found out such awesomeness as her amazing tits are implants and that she has her tubes tied. Definitely a keeper in my book.
I get her into the bedroom later, raw dog it a couple times and spend the night. I keep her around for awhile because we have a great understanding. Was a wonderful thing. She was my on call booty call on top of just hanging out normally. I ended it about a month into it because she went a little psycho on my phone after I accidentally passed out drunk while waiting for to show up for a boot call one night.
Number 31- Devil’s 3-some- One night while I was out with J.B. trying to get some ass we end up chatting up some chunk chicks. We all end up going over to Roach house for after hours. While there we’re getting drunker and drunker while trying to trade up instead of settling. By closing time J.B. and I are empty handed. In my drunken stuper I decide that something is better than nothing and get this girl back to the house.
I pull her into Dave’s room and as I’m hooking up with her J.B comes in the room to see what’s going on. Being one to not care about sharing or running a train in this case I invite him to join. Next thing the close start coming off. The top comes off and what we discover is fucked up. She had one boob that was an A cup and another that was a C cup. Drunkenly we decide to overlook this.
Right before any penetration happens she starts freaking out a little bit, talking about how she normally doesn’t do this and that she’s a catholic. I start switching back in forth between calming her down and telling J.B. to escalate certain ways. I felt like I was a director of a porno.
We both take turns railing this chick. In the middle of it our friend mark walks in the room and I tell him he can get a turn. He wasn’t having it. After we both get done we end up sending her on the way. In the morning we’re both like what the fuck did we do last night and Mark has a good laugh at our expense.
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Girl # 26- Kati- This one is royally fucked. My friend did not look out for me on this one. One night while getting ready to go out for the night with my friends I decided to give my eyes a break from my contacts. I used to wear 1 month disposable contacts and I’d get lazy and forget about them. I’d end up waiting until they hurt my eyes by irratating them and making them red. This was one of those nights.
I ended up at the bar with my friends and started the same ritual of shots and beer as we always did. Once again as I started getting drunk my mindset started changing and I was starting to focus on meeting some girls. I met Kati when I had a nice buzz. We started to chat about our lives, sports teams and our pasts. Her and I hit it off and we were clicking really well. At this time my vision was terrible. Due to that, the lighting and my buzz I wasn’t able to get a clear picture of what her face looked like. All I knew was she had a great personality and an awesome body. Her and I ended up making out and after another half an hour or so I invited her to come back to my apartment which was walking distance. On the way out we ran into my friend Emma, who told her to make me work for it. Kati replied that I already had. I heard this and a bell went off in my head.
I got her back to my place and took her into my buddy Dave’s room because I didn’t want to be disturbed and at this time I was bouncing between sleeping in Dave’s room or the couch due to not having my own room. We ended up getting naked, she gave me a great blowjob, I railed her and she went home.
A month goes by and I never had called her. While at that bar again with my friends I heard a familiar voice. I knew it was Kati’s and started looking around to get a look. I end up seeing her and it turned out she was a butterface. I was fucking livid. I felt duped and tracked down Emma in the bar. I pointed out Kati and asked Emma why she didn’t stop me from going home with her. She drops the bomb that she thought it was ok because Kati seemed like a nice girl.
Months later I run into her while shopping. Turns out she's pregnant and it's not mine.
Girl #27- Galina- One night while I was out with my friends at our regular bar I decided to hit on this hot blonde. I saddled up next to her at the bar and started chatting with her. Next thing I knew I was in a conversation with her and her friends. Everything is beautiful with this group. We’re drinking, doing shots and I’m flirting with all 3 of them.
After about an hour or so the hot blond spits it out that she has to split to go to another bar. I let her go without making a move. After she leaves, the fat girl from the group and I start chatting and she asks me if I like her friend. I tell her that I think she’s cool, hot and that I wouldn’t mind seeing her again. She tells me that she’s leaving in abit to go to that bar and that I’m welcome to come with her so she can hook me up with her friend. I’m totally down with that and now it’s just a game of killing time.
I end up asking the 3 girl from the group if she wants to shoot darts. We start playing and it becomes a bit sexually charged because of my buzz and even though she’s not as hot as the blond, this girl is coming on to me. We start making out after the third game. I end up inviting this one back to my place and she’s down with it. We get back to my place and the clothes come flying off. After sex she asks me if she’ll see me again. I tell her yes, but give her a fake number. She calls my bluff and calls the number right in front of me. Needless to say it is awkward for a moment until she excuses herself to leave my apt.
The next day I tell my friend Dave all about it and he informs me that he had nailed her months before. The next time I see her is about 3 months later at the same bar. This leads into a quick conversation about how she’s now engaged and she hints at that I had knocked her up and she got an abortion.
Definitely dodged a bullet there.
Monday, February 21, 2011
Girl number 23- Aidan- This was a chick I met off of myspace. We had chatted abit and gotten to know each other. She was 21 and had been pretending to be an 18 yr for a couple years, but I’ll get into that later. The first time we ended up hanging out at her house we ended up having sex. The only gross thing about it was that due to her Mexican blood she had hair on her stomach. This was a bit off a turn off, but I maned up anyways and had sex with her anyways because everything else about her was cute.
Her and I became fuck buddies even though I knew that she wanted more. She was okay with the situation so we continued to just hang out and fuck. During this time she asked me to marry her so she could become a US citizen, I was offered $10,000. I would have done it, but I didn’t want to take away my option to get married if I wanted to for 7 years. From what I was told somehow someway her parents got here. Had her then became US citizens and she got screwed by the system.
We stopped talking for a bit and one night while I was rolling I called her up to hang out. She told me that she was leaving in a few days to move to Michigan. She suggested we hang out because she sort of wanted closure when it came to us. I hopped in my car, picked her up and brought her back to my parent’s house. On the way there conversation was easy and great due to me being high on XTC. At my house I brought up the subject of XTC. She had never done it so I offered her some. Her and I ended up snorting half a pill each and ended up having the best time together in my room. We spent the entire night awake and she gave me the best XTC orgasm ever. Around noon I took her home and never saw her again.
Girl # 25- I have no idea who this is. Once again another question mark in my book. This time she goes by the name of Valorie.
Thursday, February 10, 2011
After getting back to Chicago things were different with a couple of the groups I had normally before hung out with. We had drifted to far apart so I moved on and started hanging with some people that I had met before I moved to florida. One of these guys will be mainly focused on. Dave and I became good friends during this time. Hanging out 3 or 4 times a week. Hitting up parties and bars. Through these I met others, was introduced to other girls that I would later smash and had some fun adventures.
Girl number 20- Terryn- I ended up meeting this chick because of my buddy Dave. I guess he had gotten this chick off of myspace to hang out with him, but she had a friend with her. He ended up asking me to come along basically to play wingman. I ended up shooting over to his place to pick him up and off to Addison we went. We get there and out comes the vodka and it turns into shot time.
With the 4 of us the drinks keep flowing and the party keeps going. After awhile Terryn and I head up to the roof top and continue vibing up there. We end up making out, groping each other a bit and talking up there. Fast forward some time and we decide to rejoin Dave and the other chick and start up again with the shots.
Within an hour, her and I are in a bedroom and we start stripping each other naked. I start fingering her, end up going down on her, she goes down on me too. I slap a condom on my cock and I smash that shit. After making her cum and busting a fat nut myself, we lay there and go right back into conversation. During this I end up finding out that she’s been fucked in the ass before and likes it. When my stamina returns to me and I’m able to get it up I slap a condom on and smash that anus.
I keep this one around for abit as a fuck buddy. After a vacation to Wisconsin Dells with her, the blond and the blonds fuck buddy; I ended up dropping that shit. The girl had become to clingy and was way to into me. Basically smothering me so I moved on.
Girl number 21- I met this one on myspace and very quickly the conversation turned sexual. We chatted online for a couple hours. Exchanged numbers and kept talking. Over the next few days I ended up getting sick, she suggested that she come over and cook me homemade chicken soup. We had talked before and she had told me that she had been in a car accident that had messed her up abit. Even with our conversations I didn’t know that extent.
She arrived with ingredients to get the soup going. While she was doing this I started laundry. By the time I got upstairs she informed me that soup was cooking and would take some time. We went off into my room and one thing led into another and we ended up naked and started having sex. Afterwards we went to go check on the soup and it wasn’t hot enough yet so her and I kept hanging out and getting to know each other. From what I could tell she had a speech impediment due to her accident. I didn’t know the extent of the brain damage yet.
An hour and a half went by and she informs me that she has to take off and go home. After sending her on her way I went to check on the soup. It seemed hot enough so I started to scoop through it. What I found shocked me. She hadn’t done any prep work! It was full parts of chicken still attached to bones as well as whole vegetable like carrots and potatoes. Needless to say I didn’t eat it.
I hung out with her on two other occasions. Both of them were at Dave’s place and involved alcohol. On one such occasion he tried to get us to be down with being stars in a porn he wanted to film. Both of us were down, but as it turned out Dave was all talk no action and it never happened.
Girl 22- Paula- One night while I was sick and had been downing robotussin, Dave calls me up basically strong arming me to come play wingman. Turns out he’s got 2 chicks to himself at a hotel and he needs someone to add to the equation for the 2nd girl. I reluctantly agree, get the directions, down some more tussin, pound a rockstar and head on over. As soon as I get there the drinks start flowing for me. Shots and redbull vodkas.
The night starts out fun and flirtatious between the girls and us. After awhile my girl and I start hooking up. I start taking off her clothes and mine. I get aroused and we start having sex. After a bit my boner loses interest and I’m left with limp dick.
Next thing I know it’s morning and there’s this awkwardness with Dave. I find out later from Paula that I didn’t pass out, but that I blacked out, fucked Paula good and then some crazy shit happened. I guess the Mr. Hyde side of me came out while dave was irritating me. I hopped off the bed naked while he was laying down and having sex. I threatened him that if he didn’t shut up and stop talking shit that I was going to cockslap him and beat the shit out of him with my dick while he was being riden by the girl.
Also I spent the rest of the time comepletely naked. I took a piss in the room in a corner near the sink in the motel 6 and after this I ran out of the room naked and was headed to McDonald’s completely naked and with no money to grab breakfast. They had to convince me to come back.
After this event Dave started spreading rumors of me having STD’s and ended up blowing my chance to hook up with this hottie that we were mutual friends with that had been in my graduating class at my high school.