Either to be a friend, sexual partner or enter into a relationship

Up until girl #4, I had idealized love, but didn't know what it was or felt like. After her and I broke up I knew I was changed. I was no longer willing to jump into relationships just because a woman was pretty or funny. For me, it was like living a normal lifestyle then winning the lotto. No one wants to go back to that previous lifestyle. I made a rule for myself unless I had feelings or was in love with a woman I wasn't willing to jump into the third category.

I rationalized it to myself that if there was nothing there feelings wise on my part, it would end up being a waste of time for myself and the girl. Sure we could have fun together, but a relationship is like a promise. In that scenario, in my mind it would be an injustice to the two of us. Staying in something that I had no feelings would keep us from meeting others that we possibly could have a future with. All most could hope for was either being my friend, someone I semi hooked up with or someone I had sex with because after all I was still a guy, loved sex and wasn't about to deny myself of that. That first love experience changed me and set me down the wild ride I've been on every since.