Number 46 and 47

Apr 11th 2007 - Girl # 46 – Let’s find your friend

Let’s set the scene. Its 9:30. I am just leaving gymnastics. I’m tired I don’t want to go out, I wanna go home and sleep. I check my phone. I have a message from a friend telling me it’s gonna be on at green iguana. Supposedly I’m definately wanna check this out. 

I shower and do all the typical shit. Its raining like an s.o.b. I’m thinking this isn’t my night at all. I get there and im walking around. I talk to a couple people. No sign of any my friends. While waiting I run into this girl I hooked up with on date but blew she me off on a second date.  
Definitely awesome because she was sposed to have date 3 with me earlier today. End up running into everyone. 
We split and do our own thing. I start meeting some new people. Meet up again with my friends again. Open a couple more. Feeling like leaving. I go out to the patio to smoke a cigarette. I start talking to this girl and her friend. The hotter one grabs my ass then the not hot one wants us all to dance. I don’t feel like it. So the hot one tells her friend well be here if she needs us. We chill for a bit talk, make out and feel each other up.  
Time passes, we see her friend again and then she’s off to dance again. My girl wants to dance and I dont feel like it so I pull her outside to cube her. I don’t get that far cause she’s got some psychic test she wants to run on me so I play along. 
Get done with that and I tell her I’m starving and that I’m gonna leave. I tell her to join me. Shes like "sure lets find my friend". Find her friend and I just give her the lowdown that we are leaving to get food and she should come (I don’t want her to come. I’m just being polite). She declines. 
Get outside and on the way to the car I "realize" that its late and that nothings open. Oh well lets go to my place. 
Get her here. Have her make me a sandwich from my fridge. Then bang her for 2 hrs. All and all a good night. 
 
Apr 22nd 2007 - Girl # 47 – The one from Match.com

So this weekend I was in Bradenton as normal with my wing. Sun afternoon came by and it was time to go. I had a date to go to. On our first date I couldn’t get past making out. 
I got home and checked my email. I had a wink from this chick off an internet dating site so I sent her a message that was pretty cocky funny. She hit me back within an hour on my IM service while I was getting ready. I talked to her for like 10 minutes then arranged for her to come here so we could go shoot some stick. 

Called my date and cancelled in a slick way. 

Internet girl shows up and we hit the pool hall for like two hours. All I did the whole time was get to know her, tease her, being cocky and interesting. I made out with her and it was on. She started rubbing the inside of my leg. I told her lets get out of here. We went back to my place. No resistance at all. Very nice and tight vagina

33 through 45

I lost my black book sometime over the last year or so. I'm going to post the ones I know about via reports and if I remember any others either through reminiscing or meditation I'll be sure to post.

Girl number 32

It was January of 2006, Mark and I had arranged a vacation in Colorado with J.B. and his buddy Luke. Mark and I drove there so we could make some money along the way and take a week off when the others arrived. For a week we partied and hit the slope in breckenridge. One such night we had started the day drinking and by night fall I was plastered. I saw my evolution go from coherent to completely retarding my chances with this hot black chick. Knowing fully that I was well past that point of being able to sober up I continue to get tanked. It didn’t matter to me though because the condo we were staying at was within walking distance.

When the lights came on for closing time I stumbled outside and started talking to this cute chick. Turns out she was there with her fiancé and her sister. After a few minutes they invited me to come party. The sister was nothing special to look at and I think in hindsight they offered to try to get the sister laid.

In the backseat, her and I started to fool around. When the sister and the fiancé went into a gas station to grab snacks I pulled my dick out and convinced the sister to start blowing me. We were caught shortly after. Next half an hour ended up being a blur of mountain road and the sister fucking me in the backseat.

If I had known then what I know now, I wouldn’t have gone. When we got there we were forced to hang out and eventually sleep in the living room. Did I mention that the dogs had shit ALL over the house and it reeked of feces. I won’t up hungover and repulsed by the stench. I hurried up, got ready and they dropped me off. Later that afternoon I realized in my haste that I forgot my Movado.

The next 4

Numbers 28 and 29 are question marks in my book.

Number 30- Alma- I’m met this 38yr old Hispanic milf while I was out partying at bamboo room. While cruising thru the club looking for girls to hit on and feeling in between pleasantly buzz and kina shitfaced I ran into this chick. I commented about how I liked the dress she was wearing. She lit up and we started chatting. The conversation went the typical route. Lots of teasing and just getting to know each other. We ended up making out, exchanging numbers and I went off to my friends. Later in the night, she sent me a text asking if she could get a ride home. I hadn’t driven that night, but my buddy mark had. I was curious to see what would end up happening so I told her yes.

I was drunk by this time and in no condition to drive so I was stuff with Mark as the third wheel. I hoped in the back with her as Mark played schouffer. Definitely had an awesome vibe the entire time, but couldn’t capitalize on anything. It was cool though because she wanted to hang out again.

Later on in the week we set up a date to hang out at her place, watch a movie and have a couple drinks. As the night progresses I found out such awesomeness as her amazing tits are implants and that she has her tubes tied. Definitely a keeper in my book.

I get her into the bedroom later, raw dog it a couple times and spend the night. I keep her around for awhile because we have a great understanding. Was a wonderful thing. She was my on call booty call on top of just hanging out normally. I ended it about a month into it because she went a little psycho on my phone after I accidentally passed out drunk while waiting for to show up for a boot call one night.

Number 31- Devil’s 3-some- One night while I was out with J.B. trying to get some ass we end up chatting up some chunk chicks. We all end up going over to Roach house for after hours. While there we’re getting drunker and drunker while trying to trade up instead of settling. By closing time J.B. and I are empty handed. In my drunken stuper I decide that something is better than nothing and get this girl back to the house.

I pull her into Dave’s room and as I’m hooking up with her J.B comes in the room to see what’s going on. Being one to not care about sharing or running a train in this case I invite him to join. Next thing the close start coming off. The top comes off and what we discover is fucked up. She had one boob that was an A cup and another that was a C cup. Drunkenly we decide to overlook this.

Right before any penetration happens she starts freaking out a little bit, talking about how she normally doesn’t do this and that she’s a catholic. I start switching back in forth between calming her down and telling J.B. to escalate certain ways. I felt like I was a director of a porno.

We both take turns railing this chick. In the middle of it our friend mark walks in the room and I tell him he can get a turn. He wasn’t having it. After we both get done we end up sending her on the way. In the morning we’re both like what the fuck did we do last night and Mark has a good laugh at our expense.

Dodging bullets

Girl # 26- Kati- This one is royally fucked. My friend did not look out for me on this one. One night while getting ready to go out for the night with my friends I decided to give my eyes a break from my contacts. I used to wear 1 month disposable contacts and I’d get lazy and forget about them. I’d end up waiting until they hurt my eyes by irratating them and making them red. This was one of those nights.

I ended up at the bar with my friends and started the same ritual of shots and beer as we always did. Once again as I started getting drunk my mindset started changing and I was starting to focus on meeting some girls. I met Kati when I had a nice buzz. We started to chat about our lives, sports teams and our pasts. Her and I hit it off and we were clicking really well. At this time my vision was terrible. Due to that, the lighting and my buzz I wasn’t able to get a clear picture of what her face looked like. All I knew was she had a great personality and an awesome body. Her and I ended up making out and after another half an hour or so I invited her to come back to my apartment which was walking distance. On the way out we ran into my friend Emma, who told her to make me work for it. Kati replied that I already had. I heard this and a bell went off in my head.

I got her back to my place and took her into my buddy Dave’s room because I didn’t want to be disturbed and at this time I was bouncing between sleeping in Dave’s room or the couch due to not having my own room. We ended up getting naked, she gave me a great blowjob, I railed her and she went home.

A month goes by and I never had called her. While at that bar again with my friends I heard a familiar voice. I knew it was Kati’s and started looking around to get a look. I end up seeing her and it turned out she was a butterface. I was fucking livid. I felt duped and tracked down Emma in the bar. I pointed out Kati and asked Emma why she didn’t stop me from going home with her. She drops the bomb that she thought it was ok because Kati seemed like a nice girl.

Months later I run into her while shopping. Turns out she's pregnant and it's not mine.

Girl #27- Galina- One night while I was out with my friends at our regular bar I decided to hit on this hot blonde. I saddled up next to her at the bar and started chatting with her. Next thing I knew I was in a conversation with her and her friends. Everything is beautiful with this group. We’re drinking, doing shots and I’m flirting with all 3 of them.

After about an hour or so the hot blond spits it out that she has to split to go to another bar. I let her go without making a move. After she leaves, the fat girl from the group and I start chatting and she asks me if I like her friend. I tell her that I think she’s cool, hot and that I wouldn’t mind seeing her again. She tells me that she’s leaving in abit to go to that bar and that I’m welcome to come with her so she can hook me up with her friend. I’m totally down with that and now it’s just a game of killing time.

I end up asking the 3 girl from the group if she wants to shoot darts. We start playing and it becomes a bit sexually charged because of my buzz and even though she’s not as hot as the blond, this girl is coming on to me. We start making out after the third game. I end up inviting this one back to my place and she’s down with it. We get back to my place and the clothes come flying off. After sex she asks me if she’ll see me again. I tell her yes, but give her a fake number. She calls my bluff and calls the number right in front of me. Needless to say it is awkward for a moment until she excuses herself to leave my apt.

The next day I tell my friend Dave all about it and he informs me that he had nailed her months before. The next time I see her is about 3 months later at the same bar. This leads into a quick conversation about how she’s now engaged and she hints at that I had knocked her up and she got an abortion.

Definitely dodged a bullet there.

The next couple conquests

Girl number 23- Aidan- This was a chick I met off of myspace. We had chatted abit and gotten to know each other. She was 21 and had been pretending to be an 18 yr for a couple years, but I’ll get into that later. The first time we ended up hanging out at her house we ended up having sex. The only gross thing about it was that due to her Mexican blood she had hair on her stomach. This was a bit off a turn off, but I maned up anyways and had sex with her anyways because everything else about her was cute.

Her and I became fuck buddies even though I knew that she wanted more. She was okay with the situation so we continued to just hang out and fuck. During this time she asked me to marry her so she could become a US citizen, I was offered $10,000. I would have done it, but I didn’t want to take away my option to get married if I wanted to for 7 years. From what I was told somehow someway her parents got here. Had her then became US citizens and she got screwed by the system.

We stopped talking for a bit and one night while I was rolling I called her up to hang out. She told me that she was leaving in a few days to move to Michigan. She suggested we hang out because she sort of wanted closure when it came to us. I hopped in my car, picked her up and brought her back to my parent’s house. On the way there conversation was easy and great due to me being high on XTC. At my house I brought up the subject of XTC. She had never done it so I offered her some. Her and I ended up snorting half a pill each and ended up having the best time together in my room. We spent the entire night awake and she gave me the best XTC orgasm ever. Around noon I took her home and never saw her again.

Girl # 24- Dielle- This was another girl I met off of myspace. After chatting a bit and a couple phone calls I got her to come over to my house. When she showed up I realized that I was handed the curse of the internet. Girl with an extremely hot face that was fat. Damn lying pictures. Fuck it thou, I wasn’t going to turn her away. I knew that I would be extremely happy with a blowjob. I immediately guided her to my room and we hung out on my bed. After awhile we made out and I found out that she was an amazing kisser. I ended up getting her to give me a blow job which was amazing. I did stop her after a bit because do to that new knowledge I was super horny and was now wondering how her vagina felt. I stripped her naked as well as myself and proceeded to raw dog her…and yes I enjoyed that shit. This ended up being a one time deal though just because I wanted to go after some hotter women.

Girl # 25- I have no idea who this is. Once again another question mark in my book. This time she goes by the name of Valorie.

Back in chicago

After getting back to Chicago things were different with a couple of the groups I had normally before hung out with. We had drifted to far apart so I moved on and started hanging with some people that I had met before I moved to florida. One of these guys will be mainly focused on. Dave and I became good friends during this time. Hanging out 3 or 4 times a week. Hitting up parties and bars. Through these I met others, was introduced to other girls that I would later smash and had some fun adventures.

Girl number 20- Terryn- I ended up meeting this chick because of my buddy Dave. I guess he had gotten this chick off of myspace to hang out with him, but she had a friend with her. He ended up asking me to come along basically to play wingman. I ended up shooting over to his place to pick him up and off to Addison we went. We get there and out comes the vodka and it turns into shot time.

With the 4 of us the drinks keep flowing and the party keeps going. After awhile Terryn and I head up to the roof top and continue vibing up there. We end up making out, groping each other a bit and talking up there. Fast forward some time and we decide to rejoin Dave and the other chick and start up again with the shots.

Within an hour, her and I are in a bedroom and we start stripping each other naked. I start fingering her, end up going down on her, she goes down on me too. I slap a condom on my cock and I smash that shit. After making her cum and busting a fat nut myself, we lay there and go right back into conversation. During this I end up finding out that she’s been fucked in the ass before and likes it. When my stamina returns to me and I’m able to get it up I slap a condom on and smash that anus.

I keep this one around for abit as a fuck buddy. After a vacation to Wisconsin Dells with her, the blond and the blonds fuck buddy; I ended up dropping that shit. The girl had become to clingy and was way to into me. Basically smothering me so I moved on.

Girl number 21- I met this one on myspace and very quickly the conversation turned sexual. We chatted online for a couple hours. Exchanged numbers and kept talking. Over the next few days I ended up getting sick, she suggested that she come over and cook me homemade chicken soup. We had talked before and she had told me that she had been in a car accident that had messed her up abit. Even with our conversations I didn’t know that extent.

She arrived with ingredients to get the soup going. While she was doing this I started laundry. By the time I got upstairs she informed me that soup was cooking and would take some time. We went off into my room and one thing led into another and we ended up naked and started having sex. Afterwards we went to go check on the soup and it wasn’t hot enough yet so her and I kept hanging out and getting to know each other. From what I could tell she had a speech impediment due to her accident. I didn’t know the extent of the brain damage yet.

An hour and a half went by and she informs me that she has to take off and go home. After sending her on her way I went to check on the soup. It seemed hot enough so I started to scoop through it. What I found shocked me. She hadn’t done any prep work! It was full parts of chicken still attached to bones as well as whole vegetable like carrots and potatoes. Needless to say I didn’t eat it.

I hung out with her on two other occasions. Both of them were at Dave’s place and involved alcohol. On one such occasion he tried to get us to be down with being stars in a porn he wanted to film. Both of us were down, but as it turned out Dave was all talk no action and it never happened.

Girl 22- Paula- One night while I was sick and had been downing robotussin, Dave calls me up basically strong arming me to come play wingman. Turns out he’s got 2 chicks to himself at a hotel and he needs someone to add to the equation for the 2^nd girl. I reluctantly agree, get the directions, down some more tussin, pound a rockstar and head on over. As soon as I get there the drinks start flowing for me. Shots and redbull vodkas.

The night starts out fun and flirtatious between the girls and us. After awhile my girl and I start hooking up. I start taking off her clothes and mine. I get aroused and we start having sex. After a bit my boner loses interest and I’m left with limp dick.

Next thing I know it’s morning and there’s this awkwardness with Dave. I find out later from Paula that I didn’t pass out, but that I blacked out, fucked Paula good and then some crazy shit happened. I guess the Mr. Hyde side of me came out while dave was irritating me. I hopped off the bed naked while he was laying down and having sex. I threatened him that if he didn’t shut up and stop talking shit that I was going to cockslap him and beat the shit out of him with my dick while he was being riden by the girl.

Also I spent the rest of the time comepletely naked. I took a piss in the room in a corner near the sink in the motel 6 and after this I ran out of the room naked and was headed to McDonald’s completely naked and with no money to grab breakfast. They had to convince me to come back.

After this event Dave started spreading rumors of me having STD’s and ended up blowing my chance to hook up with this hottie that we were mutual friends with that had been in my graduating class at my high school.

The next 7 months part 4

During this period of freedom and independence my internal feelings and everyday emotions started to diminish. I became more and more depressed gradually over time. Even though at my core my job wasn’t in line with who I was as a person I denied this as a possible reason. I rationalized to myself that it must be because of the loss of my second love. That it was finally catching up with me. I covered these feelings with partying and drugs. This went on for a bit, I still kept doing what I was doing and on one fateful night while at a underground club looking for pills I met girl # 18.

It was nearing the end of the night and I ran across a very cute chick by one of the speakers. We chatted a bit and really hit it off. By the end of the night we had made out and exchanged numbers. We had a few phone calls before I picked her up for a date. Little did I know she lived in a halfway house. Was very interesting to meet all her roomies.

Anyways back to the story, we chatted the entire way to the beach. We laid down on a towel, had a couple beers and eventually I convinced her that it would be ok to have sex on the beach under the stars. Due to the rush and thrill of possibly getting caught I ejaculated within minutes. It was a good thing to because within a couple more minutes some dude came over to warn us about cops patrolling the beach. We hung out for a bit mire then I dropped her back off.

The next girl on my list is a question mark. I don't remember any details other than it says her name is stacy and she was 30 when I was 22. Couldn't tell you if the sex was good, if I was wasted or if she was even hot.

Some time after this last sexual encounter I guess I still longed for love. My second love and I had been chatting on a regular basis. Due to our conversations I was lead to believe that she still wanted to be with me so in July of 2006 I packed all my stuff and drove 20 hours straight back to Chicago for a shot at love with my ex. The first time we hung out she decided to mention that she hoped that I didn’t move back here for her.

This fucking devasted me because not only had I left my previous life to come back to chicago, but due to not keeping up with my some of my previous friendships, what I had before had atrophied on top of my ex not wanting to be with me.

The next 7 months part 3

As I continued living a life of unrestriction, not having a boss and semi financial independence I developed a longing for the love that I had before. I kept search for it but it didn’t manifest itself to me. During this time my ex and I kept talking and due to the way she worded her language I led myself to believe that there still was something. I didn’t take the plunge right away and move back to Chicago I decide to stay in florida and continue working with J.C. because it was comfortable for me. That and my friendships and circle I was a part of was growing , was fabulous and I didn’t want to give them up.

This led into partying all over tampa. On one such night on the way home from downtown I received a call from girl # 12. She was near my place, had some people with her and wanted to hang out. When they got over it turned into something I didn’t expect. She started talking about how the blond with her was lover of her and she wanted to have a 3some with me and her sometime in the future. The four of us chatted for a few minutes while drinking beer, next thing I know the Colombian disappears into my roommates room with the guy that came with thus leaving me with her blond lover.

Her and I kept talking while the other two were having sex. After they were done there was slight silence from the room from them. Next they start talking about how the blond and I are still talking and weren’t having sex. The colombian pulls her partner out of the room, tells us that the two of them will be back and implies that we should have sex. Her blond lover doesn’t object and neither do I.

They leave and I start making out with the blond. Worst kisser ever!!! I can’t even get a fucking erection. I decide to start focusing on her. I start fingering her and magically I started getting into it and visualized the wetness of her vagina on my cock. Instant erection. Within moments we were having sex.

Thank you number 13 for hooking me up with number 17.

The next 7 months part 2

During this period of time it became a whirlwind of drugs, selling the fuck out, competition between speakermen and having a fucking blast. We all were living in the moment thinking we were invincible.

This lifestyle became phenomial and made an awesome group of friends. My main group besides the speaker guys was my boy Eddie, his girl jen, her roommates and friends we met along the way. One night during a party I ended up hooking up with girl number 15. Her name was Shannon and she had always been shy around me. Due to my semi oblivious nature when it came to women at that point I never noticed that she was attracted to me. It took Jen pointing it to me to get me to take action. Armed with this info I sat next to her and started chatting her up. We ended up making out and I told her to come with me. The sensible thing to do would have been to get her to drive 5 mins to my place so we would be undisturbed, but no I chose to drag her into one of the roommates bedrooms.

Huge mistake! Something happened that I will never forget and I’m sure she wont either. I had locked the door behind us and we both proceeded to get naked. I threw on a condom and we started fucking. Next thing that happened was classic and something I hadn’t planned for in my semi drunk state. The roommate came home!!! Out of nowhere there was pounding on the door. I knew that we were fucked so I didn’t stop. I kept having sex with Shannon. Eventually they popped the door open using a kitchen knife. I looked back to see a bunch of faces looking on in horror. I kept pumping away. The girl whose room it was freaked out, started screaming, ran up to me and started punching me. I replied by laughing, pumping Shannon a few more times then hopping off and getting dressed. I never got to finish my act with Shannon and was banned from the house.

Around February or march the company decided it wanted to reconsolidate and go back up to Chicago. I had an issue with that, because I was loving living in florida. I ended up getting approached by J.C. to team up, split from them and do our own thing. He was against changing his life again and relocating back to Chicago because of a girl he had been seeing. I chose to stay even though I didn’t have a lot of money left. In fact due to my reckless lifestyle I was down to my last $50.

J.C. said he’d cover the sets for the first day and we hit the ground running. Building a bankroll was easy and fast. It helped that we were independents now and paid less now. Once again we started smashing that shit. Within a few weeks J.C. was interested in checking out the gym that was by our place. I went with him, but waited outside. While he was outside girl 16, Theresa, walked out the doors. Since she was cute and I was bored I chatted her up. After a bit J.C. got out and I got Theresa’s number.

Over the next few weeks I hadn’t called Theresa and forgot all about her until I randomly ran into her right by the gym. She brought up that I hadn’t called and wanted to know why. I lied and said my phone reset so I lost her number then pretended to resave her number in my phone. We talked a couple times before we hung out. One day I was bored and was on the phone with her so I invited her to come over. She said sure, I gave her my address and did something to make things more interesting….I popped a dose of acid.

She came over and we started to get to know each other better. What ended up being creepy was she was born on Sept 14, 1985… 3 yrs after me. Next thing I knew it was like I was psychic, I had her figured out because of where I was at in my life at her age. I started verbalizing these thoughts and she was shocked that I seemed to know her inside and out. Within an hour we had sex. I have no idea what happened. Maybe it was due to the acid or something, but I only lasted for less than 3 minutes before I came.

This turned into me having to console her about how it wasn’t a mistake that we had sex right away and that a future was still possible. Yeah… I was full of shit. Just saying what she wanted to hear. She went home later and I never talked to her again.

Later down the timeline while one day working with J.C., I was fucking pumped. I saw this chick that was smoking in traffic. I yelled at her to roll down her window and got her to pull over. I chatted her up abit and got her number. For the purposes of this story we will call her Jasmine. We started chatting and hanging out. It started out slow with making out and heavy petting. I found myself sort of liking this chick. We hung out a bunch and had a sleep over at her place.

One night we ended up hanging out with Jen and her new boy toy or whatever he was. Her and Jasmine got to talking while all of us were in the hot tub. Jasmine confessed to Jen that she was super into me which I already knew. A good time was had by all and Jasmine and I went back to my place so she could go home. While in my car we started hooking up and she started to suck my cock. Before it went any further she stopped it and said she had to go before she got into any trouble.

She tried to leave, but found out that she had locked her keys in her car so she was forced to stay at my place. During this time I had no furniture but an air mattress. In our semi sloshed condition we started took hook up again. Clothes came off. Blowjobs happened as well as muff diving. I tried to pull the whole switcheroo. For those not familiar that’s pulling a slight of hand and substituting my cock for my fingers. She caught on to this multiple times and shut me down. I didn’t think to try throwing a condom on. I took it as a sign of rejection. I never ended up fucking her, but wish I did.

I stopped calling her and dodged her calls. Big mistake!! I threw it away when I was on the verge of sex and a possible relationship. She finally called me a month later. Awkward conversation came about, her wondering where I had been and why I didn’t call her back. Oh well another one chalked up due to making a stupid decision and basically shooting myself in the foot as I was at the finish line.

The next 7 months (girl 10- 14)

As I look back on back then. This job was the best thing for me. I started and within 2 months I became a top trainer. About a month later my destiny would come to a crossroads. I had been seeing my second love during this time. basically we were the same as before only without a title or any promise of pursuing a future together.

As it got closer to winter I was presented with an opportunity to move to florida with my company to help them set up a second office. Instead of taking my own personal inititive because of being torn due to my love for my ex, I left that decision in her hand. In a sense I gave her an ultimatum. I told her that I had two weeks to make a decision and told her about the opportunity. I told her that the only thing holding me back was her and wanting to reconcile. She asked to be given 2 weeks to think about it. When the time arose I asked her for an answer, but she couldn't give me one so I left.

A month later she asked me to come back, but it was to late. i spent the next few months kicking ass and taking names when it came down to hustling. for once I really felt good about myself because I was a superstar at what I was doing.

This job lead into girl number 10 through 18.

Girl number 10 was a drunken hookup at northen university of illinois. Nothing special to say about this one. She was wasted at a party and started to seduce me. practically dragged me to her dorm room.

Girl number 11: While pitching people in the parking lot in florida, I saw this chick walking from the back and she had an amazing ass. I flipped the car around and caught up to her before she made it into subway. I got her attention, told her I thought she was beautiful and would love her number to contact her later due to being in a hurry because of work. She gave me her digits and we parted ways.

We chatted a few times over the phone before setting up a date. During the calls and the date there were red flags, but i ignored them anyways. She had just come out of an abusive relationship and became attached to me very quickly. We ended up having sex in my car. the very next day while I was working she went nutso via text and voicemails. I had left my phone on silent and when I checked it I had easily 6 or 7 messages from her ranging from her calling me an asshole for ignoring her to apologizing to other nasty pleasantries. needless to say I crossed this one off the list right away.

Girl 12- This one was fabulous. I was out one night at a pool hall with one of my speaker buddies. At the table next to use were 2 girls and some dude. One chick was a chunker doodle and the other was thins cute columbian chick. her and I kept exchanging glances the entire time. Right before my buddy and I left I walked over to them and chatted them up a bit and got a cigarette. After a few minutes the guy in the group put on his captain alpha cape and got all white ghetto hard. I walked away not wanting to deal with his bullshit. While walking to my car the colombian came outside and yelled my name. I turned around and walked over to her. She asked me for my number, apologized for her friend and kissed me.

We started interacting via text and the phone. her and I set up a double date. I showed up for her and some black dude showed up for her chunker doodle. During pool there was this sexual energy between us and I wound up with a permaboner that popped up. The four of us made it about 45 mins and we had to leave. All of us wanted to get laid. I took the 3 of them to my apartment. During that time I was sharing an apartment with 4 other people.

My bedroom was our living room and we had few items of furniture. Within minutes the black dude and the chunker doodle disappeared into one of my roommates rooms. With my columbian chick in my living room we enjoy a brief chat over a couple of rum and cokes. I stripped her naked as well as myself and had sex with her. During this time the chunker doodle walked in and stuck around to watch us for a minute or two and left the room. After sex I sent everyone on there way due to the restraints of having to work the next day.

Her and I kept in contact, but I dropped the interaction when she brought up having an open relationship.

Girl 13 was another girl that I met while working. I was in traffic and I shouted over to her asking if she wanted a home theater. I got her to pull over, but she couldn't come up with money. Instead I ended up chatting her up, making out with her and getting her number. we chatted for awhile via text and the phone, but couldn't arrange a chance to meet up so i dropped it. About a month later out of the blue she contacted me again. We chatted abit, I lied saying I lost her number and that I had been thinking about her.

We finally got together at her place. We were going to go out, but I started making out with her and got her into the bedroom. This one I guess really cared about me. I lied my way into her pants because I wanted to sample her beautiful puerto rican vagina. afterward I didn't keep her around because I knew she wanted a relationship with me and I wasn't willing.

Girl number 14 was one of 12 in my black book that I have no idea the story behind the sex.

Sometime between girl 13 and 14, I was out with my buddies, C.P. and E.S., while on our way to a club at the Disney Resort Pleasure island I decided to snort a pill of XTC. Inside it turned into a whirlwind of conversation, makeouts and drinks. At some point C.P. introduced me to this hispanic beauty and it was on with her and I. I don't remember what was said, but we ended up making out and it was magical. At the end of the night when the club closed I walked her to the bus so she could go back to her hotel where she was a nanny for a family. I found out she had a boyfriend and kept going with it. I hopped on the bus with her, making out the entire way to her hotel.

Somehow in my drug induced perceptions i thought it would be fine to be able to go up to her room with her. That was a no. we continued our whirlwind short lived romanced by the bathrooms. Due to being in the moment and high, I didn't think to drag her into the bathroom. After awhile she called me a cab and I was sad when i had to leave. I was momentarily in love thanks to the drug. When the cab got there i hopped in and headed toward the vacation house myself and my co-workers were staying.

On the way there I realized that I had no more cash on me and had the cab drop me in the neighborhoods right by my place. I peaced out on the cab and ran my ass home. Upon arrival I turned on the hot tub, nopped in for awhile then went to bed.

Speakers, the art of the sale and the rush

Going into this job I was pretty innocent and naive. Through working on my craft and observing others I learned the psychology of the deal and ways to manipulate language in a way to omit facts and deceitfully tell the truth as well as preying on human emotions like greed and other human desires such as taking advantage of another’s desperation.

The main premise behind this job is letting your buyer believe that what you have is high end stereo equipment that’s extra and you are dumping it for cheap. Each speakerman has his own way of going about it. The most important elements are to embody the role via your emotions, body language and verbal language.

When I started I spoke the truth while at the same time omitting certain truths. Allowing another’s imagination to fill in the blanks of what hinted toward. Due to speaking the truth a new sense of excitement and enthusiasm came out of me and while working I would be transformed from a semi-shy individual to a loud super extroverted person.

This physical feeling as well as the rush of closing a deal became my personal drug. I loved going to work and loved the competition with others in the company I worked for. Within 2 months I became one of their best trainers. Little did how ridiculous the amount of money that was possible to make with this job. That would come years later when I was retrained by one of my friends. Hands down the best speakermen I’ve ever seen in my life. On top of this the path that I was going down had a price and would lead me to further self destruction and the seduction community.

Unhappiness

Up till this point the only thing I had tried was weed, shrooms, coke, heroin and pills.

In high school, during my senior year, I was perpetually stoned. I did this to escape the time that I was required to spend in school. My first three years in high school sucked. everything I had done to piss off the people that I had been in school will followed me and spread. While they flourished and made new friends, I felt that my invisible barrier of who I could be friends with became smaller and smaller.

I hit a point where I dreaded almost every second that I was there. There were few people that I was thankful for. They were underclassmen and didn't know about my past or social status in school. I spent my mornings wake n baking on the way to school. During 2nd hour I'd take a quick hit in the men's bathroom off my one hitter. Then during the end of 3rd or beginning of 4th I'd excuse myself to smoke up quickly to make they time magically disappear in my stoned stuper. Next on the list was lunch time, for the first 3 yrs I did not know what to do with myself. I spent it either in the computer room, hiding out somewhere else or working on something in the general forum. anything to keep me away from the giant room filled with people eating. yes I suffered from social anxiety. I avoided it out of fear of being rejected. It was easier to avoid and lie to myself then face what I ultimately wanted, which was acceptance.

I felt lonely and useless. Don't get me wrong I was smart and excelled at academics, but when it came to people you might as well have put a helmet on me and had me color in the corner of the room with crayons. it felt like i was destined to fail at this. No matter what I did to try to make freinds for the most part i failed. This unhappiness was what lead me to the drugs in the first place. Even worse when people did try to include me I would systematically unconcsiously sabotage my addition. Classic examples included turning down the few parties I was invited to. Sometimes I would come up with the same lame shit as you see in the movie superbad when asked how my weekend was.

Up until the end of my senior year, I had never once gone drunk. Due to not being able to skip school for senior ditch day with out being dropped from two necessary classes, I snuck in a 20 oz bottle filled with vodka and had a juice chaser. There had been a hottie in my math class that sat next to me that I wanted to hook up with so bad. Before and during class I was drinking. I felt this change come over me. I was more comfortable in my own skin, confident and funny. I walked out of that class with her number later to never call her.

This one experience lead me to the rapid hole that is alcohol. After high school, this new found drug became a staple as well as weed. I was responsible thou. I had a job so the weed was a yes during the week but alcohol was saved for the weekends.

No matter how hard I tried I found that I couldn't fix what was going on with me. 1 on 1 i was fine with or without drugs, but make the group more than four or have more than that in the room and I would NEED alcohol or I'd shut down. I never considered myself an addict even though I clearly am one.

Whenever some new drug came around I was down to try it. Always on the search to find something to fix me, even if it was only temporary. Depending on the drug it always amazed me the difference in the DR. Jekll/Mr. Hyde effect it would have on me.

I scoured the internet for legal drugs and experimented with all types of shit. I remember at one point the thought of death came into my conscience. I made a deal with myself I wouldn't slice my wrists, throw myself infront of a bus or hang myself; I promised myself this, but a drug overdose was ok to me. in fact there were times where i consumed more and more just to see what would happen, limits and boundries were replaced with carefree and recklessness. On one such experiment I ate a 1/2 oz of shrooms to come down feeling like I had permanently retarted myself. Within a week I was back to normal and hadn't learned my lesson and the drug/alcohol fueled craze continued.

Looking back I needed help, had opportunities for it and rejected my options at every crossroad i encountered them.

Eventually the way I felt plus a future job would lead into a lifestyle that would continue the downward spiral of unhappiness and provide me with the means to pursue and perpetuate a new level of lifestyle of self destruction.

Becoming a speakerman

While I was working at Burlington coat factory I was absolutely miserable with the job and couldn’t wait to get the fuck out of there. As soon as I got my license back I started answer ads for jobs. This job I happened to stumble across. Their ad stood out to me and said it was delivery. Within 3 days I had the job. My first day training I wasn’t sure what was going on, but went with it. My trainer was my future buddy J.B. he took me and another trainee out. We had a vehicle and a bunch of surround sounds and speakers in the back. He decided to drive out to the suburbs to work. I decided to just chit chat with the guy and figured we were on a delivery.

When he got to where he wanted to work he started pitching people driving. I was taken back by it for a minute, but payed attention. 3 hrs went by and he hadn’t sold anything yet. The other trainee started bitching and moaning. I looked back at him and told him to shut the fuck up and pay attention that this had to work, no way this guy has been doing this for 6 years and doesn’t make money. That was the last we heard him speak. Within the next hour I watched J.B. make $300. I was sold on this job right there and then because within 4 hours he made more than I was currently making in 40 hours.

The very next day I made my first sale and got off training.

Chance occurance with the Denny’s waitress- Girl #9

While working at Papa John’s I got sucked into the scam that is Quixtar. One night while having a meeting with 2 members of my upline, we were served by this smoking hot Asian. Her and I flirted a bit when she kept coming to the table. I left that night feeling content with not asking for her number. At the time I was dating Girl#7 so it was irrelevant.

Fast forward a couple months and we were broken up. I stopped by that denny’s since it was by my house with the intention of asking that waitress for her number. She wasn’t working and I found out that she no longer worked there. Oh well missed connection tis life or so I thought.

About a month went by and I was flowing through new groups of people. I ended up getting invited to a party. Fuck yea I was going to that shit. When I got there it was kinda dead, but I had faith that it would improve. About an hour goes by and I’m like fuck all that seems available are the undesireables.

I walk out onto the patio to smoke a cigarette when I hear a chick yelled out “OMG! It’s that guy. It’s Angel!” (David Boreanous). I look over to where this came from when I see her staring at me. It’s the Denny’s waitress. I walk over to her and her gay friend and chat them up.

After a bit someone mention that a liquor run needs to happen. I volunteer and ask the waitress to come with. We end up hooking up a bit in my car. She tells me her husband is overseas in the military. When we get back her ride isn't there. I offer her a lift home. Back at her place we smoke smoke weed, drink and end up having sex.

My intro to gay bars

This had an interesting effect on me. Till these experiences I never knew how aggressive men could be when it comes to sex. Anyways, in casual conversation with my ex- manager from Burlington coat factory, he invited me to hit up Hunter’s where he worked. I was semi hesitant at first, but figured fuck it why not. The promise of being hooked up with free drinks definitely sweetened the deal. Over the next few months or so I would frequent these places to hang out and get drunk. During this time I got man handled, groped, had my shirt torn off me, kamakazi kissed, been propositioned for sex/blowjobs in bathrooms, gotten countless free drinks, had guys and girls fighting for my attention and dealt with all types of dude.

Ex. Needy guy, Slut, Player, TS girls, etc, etc…

I had been tricked to go with chicks to parties because their “friend” fancied me. Over the span of all of it, it made me more comfortable with the gay community and made me realize some of the shit women deal with. There’s nothing worse in a bar then been constantly hit on terribly. The shit gets annoying real fast. This was the type of place that I knew that there was no way in hell I’d go rolling. Realized that one night while wasted. That’s another plus. The drinks are strong! That and when you are a straight guy at a gay bar you have no competition when it comes to picking up straight chicks out with their gay friends. Also very easy to get hooked up with them. There have been times that dudes have told their friend to sleep with me, that if I was gay he’d want me to bang him so she should do it instead since I’m straight. That social approval allows a woman to follow her instincts without being judged.

Burlington coat factory and other jobs

Due to my location and losing my license for 3 months due to a dui, I was stuck searching the surrounding area for a new job. Only problem- most places were fast food or grocery. I had already done both and trust me they both suck. When I was 15, I worked at subway. I was happy about it at the beginning. It helped me get out of my whopping $10 a week allowance. The job had it’s perks like free food, but also that was a down side because it helped me get fat. A summer of eating footlong double meat subs with 4x the bacon will do that, not to mention the sandwich creations I made up.

After I quit there I worked for dominick’s. Once again a job that was cool at first, but sucked in the long run. Eventually I had it and quit there to. During my time there I did do some fucked up shit. I used to steal alcohol from there. In the back room whenever even the slightest thing happened to liquor like a label coming off a bottle or a beer broke so what was left was an 11 pack, it would have to be put into damaged goods. There was no camera on that area. Trust me I had checked. So every now and then I would help myself to whatever I wanted. Another thing I did was hook up with one of the cashiers while she was dating another employee that I was friends with. I know. It was a douche move.

On to Burlington Coat factory, WORST JOB EVER! My job was in the warehouse. For 7 and a half hours a day, my job consisted of stapling price tags on the bottom of shoes. Yes I could listen to CD’s, but there’s only so many time you can listen to an album while doing that before you want to shoot yourself. While there I became friends with a bunch of the workers. One was this chick Marta. Boy did I have the hots for her. Another was this 17 yr old that wanted to bang me, definitely turned that down. Wasn’t looking for jail time. The third that had my interest was this single latina mom, for the life of me I can’t remember her name. I also became friends with the assistant manager. I was advise by him there not to go after Marta and the single mom because she was married and bullshit about it being frowned down upon by the corporation.

Little did I know that this job would introduce me to another world. Turns out the assistant manager was also a bartender at a gay bar and was bi-sexual, but that’s another story.

Jungle fever- Girl #8

While I was #7’s boytoy I met another woman. While at the Skokie court house awaiting court proceedings in my case for DUI number one, I took a stroll with my father and as we discussed somethings. In mid conversation I noticed this very cute black chick checking me out. As we looped around to the other side I proceeded to engage her in conversation. Wasn’t anything to fancy. Just my name, her name, basic bullshit and I got her number.

Afterwards my father and I went into the court room to have my case called. Nothing came out of this, but we’ll see you in a month and a half for more court bullshit. Gotta love the legal system.

Anyways I decided to chat this girl up via the phone and we hit it up great. At this time I had a piece of shit cell phone but at the same time a cell phone none the less. One eventful day I decided to set them up back to back. Mind you at this time I had no drivers license. I took the trains and hour and a half to my ex-gf’s house. Her and I fooled around, but stopped short of having sex. I was saving myself for possibly the other girl. My ex and I hung out abit and after awhile I excused myself saying I was going home.

I hopped on the next available bus and called up girl #8 to let her know I was coming, she gave me all the rest of the info I need then I hung up with her and called up my ex. I bullshitted with her until I got to the stop where girl numbers #8’s place was at. When I got off I realized it was on the edge of boys town and cabrini green.

I get over there and get up stairs to her one bedroom apartment. She’s just chilling in her pj’s watching porn. I was like damn. I had seen her before but she was wearing a coat. This time she had on some little booty shorts and a shirt that looked like it was going to burst from her huge tits. On top of this her waist was to say. Needless to say this was at that point in my life the hottest girl physically that I would fuck.

We started into the same normal small talk, which led into talking about sex (due to the porn), which led into kissing and groping each other on the floor. After awhile she got up, grabbed my hand and led me to the bedroom. Needled to say the sex was amazing. After blowing my load the first time we got into more kinkier talk. This led into a discussion whether I liked anal. I told her before that the girl I gave my virginity to used to finger me in the ass while she gave me head and I liked it.

This chick though I was full of shit so she hopped off the bed, went into her closet and pulled out a small vibrator. She climbed back on the bed and gave me this look like “Alright big talker let’s see if you can walk the walk instead of talk the talk”. She lubed it up, stick it in and proceeded to give me head. I loved it.

In the morning I had her drop me off back in Arlington heights due to having to work. In the weeks that followed I never called her back. For me this was a stupid mistake. We both clicked sexually and conversationally, but I allowed my feelings of loss and longing for my second love to take over and I pursued her instead.

Eminem says it best for me

I'm not afraid (I'm not afraid)
To take a stand (to take a stand)
Everybody (everybody)
Come take my hand (come take my hand)
We'll walk this road together, through the storm
Whatever weather, cold or warm
Just lettin you know that, you're not alone
Holla if you feel like you've been down the same road (same road)

[Intro (during Chorus):]
Yeah, it's been a ride
I guess I had to, go to that place, to get to this one
Now some of you, might still be in that place
If you're trying to get out, just follow me
I'll get you there

You could try and read my lyrics off of this paper before I lay 'em
But you won't take the sting out these words before I say 'em
Cause ain't no way I'ma let you stop me from causin mayhem
When I say I'ma do somethin I do it,
I don't give a damn what you think,
I'm doin this for me, so fuck the world
Feed it beans, it's gassed up, if it thinks it's stoppin me
I'ma be what I set out to be, without a doubt undoubtedly
And all those who look down on me I'm tearin down your balcony
No if ands or buts, don't try to ask him why or how can he
From "Infinite" down to the last "Relapse" album
he's still shittin, whether he's on salary paid hourly
Until he bows out or he shits his bowels out of him
Whichever comes first, for better or worse
He's married to the game, like a fuck you for Christmas
His gift is a curse, forget the Earth, he's got the urge
to pull his dick from the dirt, and fuck the whole universe

[Chorus]

Okay quit playin with the scissors and shit, and cut the crap
I shouldn't have to rhyme these words in the rhythm for you to know it's a rap
You said you was king, you lied through your teeth, for that
Fuck your feelings, instead of gettin crowned you're gettin capped
And to the fans, I'll never let you down again, I'm back
I promise to never go back on that promise, in fact
Let's be honest, that last "Relapse" CD was ehhh
Perhaps I ran them accents into the ground
Relax, I ain't goin back to that now
All I'm tryin to say is get back, click-clack, blaow
Cause I ain't playin around
It's a game called circle and I don't know how, I'm way too up to back down
But I think I'm still tryin to figure this crap out
Thought I had it mapped out but I guess I didn't, this fuckin black cloud
still follows, me around but it's time to exorcise these demons
These muh'fuckers are doin jumpin jacks now!

[Chorus]

And I just can't keep living this way
So starting today, I'm breaking out of this cage
I'm standing up, I'ma face my demons
I'm manning up, I'ma hold my ground
I've had enough, now I'm so fed up
Time to put my life back together right now! (now)

It was my decision to get clean, I did it for me
Admittedly, I probably did it subliminally
for you, so I could come back a brand new me you helped see me through
And don't even realize what you did, believe me you
I been through the ringer, but they could do little to the middle finger
I think I got a tear in my eye, I feel like the king of
my world, haters can make like bees with no stingers
and drop dead, no more beef flingers
No more drama from now on, I promise
to focus solely on handlin my responsibilities as a father
So I solemnly swear to always treat this roof, like my daughters
and raise it, you couldn't lift a single shingle on it!
Cause the way I feel, I'm strong enough to go to the club
or the corner pub, and lift the whole liquor counter up
Cause I'm raising the bar
I'd shoot for the moon but I'm too busy gazin at stars
I feel amazing and I'm

[Chorus]

Working at papa john’s

After getting shit canned 2x from IBEW 701, once for being immature and blowing off a day of work and the second time the following year for failing a hair follicle drug test, I started applying anywhere I could get a job. I ended up settling for becoming an employee of papa john’s in Buffalo grove. This was while I was dating my second love.

Eventually I was transferred to the Des Plaines store. While here I got to know a hot 16yr old that was totally into me. We flirted, I got her number but couldn’t go through with hanging out with her and possibly hooking up with her because my feeling for my gf. Also I was being trained to be a general manager to take over the Glenview store.

My routine was typical: Friends, work and my gf. One night before work I ate an 1/8 of shrooms while I was with my second love. It was a very magical time. The next day sucked though. I had to recover while I worked at Papa John’s needless to say I was temporarily semi retarded.

The job was alright for awhile. Easy money and all the pizza I could eat. Loved that part. Eventually I was moved to Glenview, here I was still being trained while I was GM. I made friends with my workers and the people that worked at the ice cream store next door. I’d hook them up when they were hungry and the workers there gave my employees all the free ice cream they wanted.

On one such visitation I met a girl that worked there. She had an amazing face and an alright body. We started to get to know each other and one day we ended up kissing. A week or so later I was semi training a guy who would become my friend. His name was Joe and he had worked at the papa john’s by norte dame. On one of the nights I left him to handle the store and went to visit the girl next door.

We went into the back room and started making out. I reached to pull down her pants and she said she was on her period. I proceeded to get her to give me a blowjob. Worst head of my life!!! So I fucked her face till I came.

Next thing I knew she became my stalker coming over looking all lovey dovey. Also at this time I was having my gf visit me at work due to my hours. I had it timed so that she would arrive at the Glenview train station and that my driver, Jivko, would go pick her up and bring her to me right after stalker girl had closed up and went home.

After awhile I got my friend Scott a job at my store. Stalker girl was still all about me. I told Scott the whole story, but he didn’t believe me about the terrible head. I told him to go for her then. He did and reported back that I was correct. Next thing I knew stalker girl was all about my friend. I know if was naughty to pass the torch to my friend, but fuck it.

For awhile this pattern continued of my gf coming over after the ice cream store was closed. It was pretty routine. We’d hang in my office and have sex while I was being paid. On one such occasion I decided to spice it up and fucked her while wearing the pizza slice costume papa john’s used as a prop on the street. Man I wish I recorded it!

A short time later I got my second DUI, this royally screwed things, but I was willing to make it work even though I was being fucked over by work. At one point I was working an average of 100 hrs a week on salary because I had to cover shifts. Due to both issues I had to get a day off to meet with my lawyer. My area manager covered for me, but a driver never showed up so he wanted me to come in. I told him I couldn’t and hung up.

The next day when I showed up to bust out a school order he was there. He was pissed and started yelling at me. I gave him a piece of my mind, told him to fuck off and quit.