The next 7 months (girl 10- 14)

As I look back on back then. This job was the best thing for me. I started and within 2 months I became a top trainer. About a month later my destiny would come to a crossroads. I had been seeing my second love during this time. basically we were the same as before only without a title or any promise of pursuing a future together.

As it got closer to winter I was presented with an opportunity to move to florida with my company to help them set up a second office. Instead of taking my own personal inititive because of being torn due to my love for my ex, I left that decision in her hand. In a sense I gave her an ultimatum. I told her that I had two weeks to make a decision and told her about the opportunity. I told her that the only thing holding me back was her and wanting to reconcile. She asked to be given 2 weeks to think about it. When the time arose I asked her for an answer, but she couldn't give me one so I left.

A month later she asked me to come back, but it was to late. i spent the next few months kicking ass and taking names when it came down to hustling. for once I really felt good about myself because I was a superstar at what I was doing.

This job lead into girl number 10 through 18.

Girl number 10 was a drunken hookup at northen university of illinois. Nothing special to say about this one. She was wasted at a party and started to seduce me. practically dragged me to her dorm room.

Girl number 11: While pitching people in the parking lot in florida, I saw this chick walking from the back and she had an amazing ass. I flipped the car around and caught up to her before she made it into subway. I got her attention, told her I thought she was beautiful and would love her number to contact her later due to being in a hurry because of work. She gave me her digits and we parted ways.

We chatted a few times over the phone before setting up a date. During the calls and the date there were red flags, but i ignored them anyways. She had just come out of an abusive relationship and became attached to me very quickly. We ended up having sex in my car. the very next day while I was working she went nutso via text and voicemails. I had left my phone on silent and when I checked it I had easily 6 or 7 messages from her ranging from her calling me an asshole for ignoring her to apologizing to other nasty pleasantries. needless to say I crossed this one off the list right away.

Girl 12- This one was fabulous. I was out one night at a pool hall with one of my speaker buddies. At the table next to use were 2 girls and some dude. One chick was a chunker doodle and the other was thins cute columbian chick. her and I kept exchanging glances the entire time. Right before my buddy and I left I walked over to them and chatted them up a bit and got a cigarette. After a few minutes the guy in the group put on his captain alpha cape and got all white ghetto hard. I walked away not wanting to deal with his bullshit. While walking to my car the colombian came outside and yelled my name. I turned around and walked over to her. She asked me for my number, apologized for her friend and kissed me.

We started interacting via text and the phone. her and I set up a double date. I showed up for her and some black dude showed up for her chunker doodle. During pool there was this sexual energy between us and I wound up with a permaboner that popped up. The four of us made it about 45 mins and we had to leave. All of us wanted to get laid. I took the 3 of them to my apartment. During that time I was sharing an apartment with 4 other people.

My bedroom was our living room and we had few items of furniture. Within minutes the black dude and the chunker doodle disappeared into one of my roommates rooms. With my columbian chick in my living room we enjoy a brief chat over a couple of rum and cokes. I stripped her naked as well as myself and had sex with her. During this time the chunker doodle walked in and stuck around to watch us for a minute or two and left the room. After sex I sent everyone on there way due to the restraints of having to work the next day.

Her and I kept in contact, but I dropped the interaction when she brought up having an open relationship.

Girl 13 was another girl that I met while working. I was in traffic and I shouted over to her asking if she wanted a home theater. I got her to pull over, but she couldn't come up with money. Instead I ended up chatting her up, making out with her and getting her number. we chatted for awhile via text and the phone, but couldn't arrange a chance to meet up so i dropped it. About a month later out of the blue she contacted me again. We chatted abit, I lied saying I lost her number and that I had been thinking about her.

We finally got together at her place. We were going to go out, but I started making out with her and got her into the bedroom. This one I guess really cared about me. I lied my way into her pants because I wanted to sample her beautiful puerto rican vagina. afterward I didn't keep her around because I knew she wanted a relationship with me and I wasn't willing.

Girl number 14 was one of 12 in my black book that I have no idea the story behind the sex.

Sometime between girl 13 and 14, I was out with my buddies, C.P. and E.S., while on our way to a club at the Disney Resort Pleasure island I decided to snort a pill of XTC. Inside it turned into a whirlwind of conversation, makeouts and drinks. At some point C.P. introduced me to this hispanic beauty and it was on with her and I. I don't remember what was said, but we ended up making out and it was magical. At the end of the night when the club closed I walked her to the bus so she could go back to her hotel where she was a nanny for a family. I found out she had a boyfriend and kept going with it. I hopped on the bus with her, making out the entire way to her hotel.

Somehow in my drug induced perceptions i thought it would be fine to be able to go up to her room with her. That was a no. we continued our whirlwind short lived romanced by the bathrooms. Due to being in the moment and high, I didn't think to drag her into the bathroom. After awhile she called me a cab and I was sad when i had to leave. I was momentarily in love thanks to the drug. When the cab got there i hopped in and headed toward the vacation house myself and my co-workers were staying.

On the way there I realized that I had no more cash on me and had the cab drop me in the neighborhoods right by my place. I peaced out on the cab and ran my ass home. Upon arrival I turned on the hot tub, nopped in for awhile then went to bed.

Speakers, the art of the sale and the rush

Going into this job I was pretty innocent and naive. Through working on my craft and observing others I learned the psychology of the deal and ways to manipulate language in a way to omit facts and deceitfully tell the truth as well as preying on human emotions like greed and other human desires such as taking advantage of another’s desperation.

The main premise behind this job is letting your buyer believe that what you have is high end stereo equipment that’s extra and you are dumping it for cheap. Each speakerman has his own way of going about it. The most important elements are to embody the role via your emotions, body language and verbal language.

When I started I spoke the truth while at the same time omitting certain truths. Allowing another’s imagination to fill in the blanks of what hinted toward. Due to speaking the truth a new sense of excitement and enthusiasm came out of me and while working I would be transformed from a semi-shy individual to a loud super extroverted person.

This physical feeling as well as the rush of closing a deal became my personal drug. I loved going to work and loved the competition with others in the company I worked for. Within 2 months I became one of their best trainers. Little did how ridiculous the amount of money that was possible to make with this job. That would come years later when I was retrained by one of my friends. Hands down the best speakermen I’ve ever seen in my life. On top of this the path that I was going down had a price and would lead me to further self destruction and the seduction community.

Unhappiness

Up till this point the only thing I had tried was weed, shrooms, coke, heroin and pills.

In high school, during my senior year, I was perpetually stoned. I did this to escape the time that I was required to spend in school. My first three years in high school sucked. everything I had done to piss off the people that I had been in school will followed me and spread. While they flourished and made new friends, I felt that my invisible barrier of who I could be friends with became smaller and smaller.

I hit a point where I dreaded almost every second that I was there. There were few people that I was thankful for. They were underclassmen and didn't know about my past or social status in school. I spent my mornings wake n baking on the way to school. During 2nd hour I'd take a quick hit in the men's bathroom off my one hitter. Then during the end of 3rd or beginning of 4th I'd excuse myself to smoke up quickly to make they time magically disappear in my stoned stuper. Next on the list was lunch time, for the first 3 yrs I did not know what to do with myself. I spent it either in the computer room, hiding out somewhere else or working on something in the general forum. anything to keep me away from the giant room filled with people eating. yes I suffered from social anxiety. I avoided it out of fear of being rejected. It was easier to avoid and lie to myself then face what I ultimately wanted, which was acceptance.

I felt lonely and useless. Don't get me wrong I was smart and excelled at academics, but when it came to people you might as well have put a helmet on me and had me color in the corner of the room with crayons. it felt like i was destined to fail at this. No matter what I did to try to make freinds for the most part i failed. This unhappiness was what lead me to the drugs in the first place. Even worse when people did try to include me I would systematically unconcsiously sabotage my addition. Classic examples included turning down the few parties I was invited to. Sometimes I would come up with the same lame shit as you see in the movie superbad when asked how my weekend was.

Up until the end of my senior year, I had never once gone drunk. Due to not being able to skip school for senior ditch day with out being dropped from two necessary classes, I snuck in a 20 oz bottle filled with vodka and had a juice chaser. There had been a hottie in my math class that sat next to me that I wanted to hook up with so bad. Before and during class I was drinking. I felt this change come over me. I was more comfortable in my own skin, confident and funny. I walked out of that class with her number later to never call her.

This one experience lead me to the rapid hole that is alcohol. After high school, this new found drug became a staple as well as weed. I was responsible thou. I had a job so the weed was a yes during the week but alcohol was saved for the weekends.

No matter how hard I tried I found that I couldn't fix what was going on with me. 1 on 1 i was fine with or without drugs, but make the group more than four or have more than that in the room and I would NEED alcohol or I'd shut down. I never considered myself an addict even though I clearly am one.

Whenever some new drug came around I was down to try it. Always on the search to find something to fix me, even if it was only temporary. Depending on the drug it always amazed me the difference in the DR. Jekll/Mr. Hyde effect it would have on me.

I scoured the internet for legal drugs and experimented with all types of shit. I remember at one point the thought of death came into my conscience. I made a deal with myself I wouldn't slice my wrists, throw myself infront of a bus or hang myself; I promised myself this, but a drug overdose was ok to me. in fact there were times where i consumed more and more just to see what would happen, limits and boundries were replaced with carefree and recklessness. On one such experiment I ate a 1/2 oz of shrooms to come down feeling like I had permanently retarted myself. Within a week I was back to normal and hadn't learned my lesson and the drug/alcohol fueled craze continued.

Looking back I needed help, had opportunities for it and rejected my options at every crossroad i encountered them.

Eventually the way I felt plus a future job would lead into a lifestyle that would continue the downward spiral of unhappiness and provide me with the means to pursue and perpetuate a new level of lifestyle of self destruction.

Becoming a speakerman

While I was working at Burlington coat factory I was absolutely miserable with the job and couldn’t wait to get the fuck out of there. As soon as I got my license back I started answer ads for jobs. This job I happened to stumble across. Their ad stood out to me and said it was delivery. Within 3 days I had the job. My first day training I wasn’t sure what was going on, but went with it. My trainer was my future buddy J.B. he took me and another trainee out. We had a vehicle and a bunch of surround sounds and speakers in the back. He decided to drive out to the suburbs to work. I decided to just chit chat with the guy and figured we were on a delivery.

When he got to where he wanted to work he started pitching people driving. I was taken back by it for a minute, but payed attention. 3 hrs went by and he hadn’t sold anything yet. The other trainee started bitching and moaning. I looked back at him and told him to shut the fuck up and pay attention that this had to work, no way this guy has been doing this for 6 years and doesn’t make money. That was the last we heard him speak. Within the next hour I watched J.B. make $300. I was sold on this job right there and then because within 4 hours he made more than I was currently making in 40 hours.

The very next day I made my first sale and got off training.

Chance occurance with the Denny’s waitress- Girl #9

While working at Papa John’s I got sucked into the scam that is Quixtar. One night while having a meeting with 2 members of my upline, we were served by this smoking hot Asian. Her and I flirted a bit when she kept coming to the table. I left that night feeling content with not asking for her number. At the time I was dating Girl#7 so it was irrelevant.

Fast forward a couple months and we were broken up. I stopped by that denny’s since it was by my house with the intention of asking that waitress for her number. She wasn’t working and I found out that she no longer worked there. Oh well missed connection tis life or so I thought.

About a month went by and I was flowing through new groups of people. I ended up getting invited to a party. Fuck yea I was going to that shit. When I got there it was kinda dead, but I had faith that it would improve. About an hour goes by and I’m like fuck all that seems available are the undesireables.

I walk out onto the patio to smoke a cigarette when I hear a chick yelled out “OMG! It’s that guy. It’s Angel!” (David Boreanous). I look over to where this came from when I see her staring at me. It’s the Denny’s waitress. I walk over to her and her gay friend and chat them up.

After a bit someone mention that a liquor run needs to happen. I volunteer and ask the waitress to come with. We end up hooking up a bit in my car. She tells me her husband is overseas in the military. When we get back her ride isn't there. I offer her a lift home. Back at her place we smoke smoke weed, drink and end up having sex.

My intro to gay bars

This had an interesting effect on me. Till these experiences I never knew how aggressive men could be when it comes to sex. Anyways, in casual conversation with my ex- manager from Burlington coat factory, he invited me to hit up Hunter’s where he worked. I was semi hesitant at first, but figured fuck it why not. The promise of being hooked up with free drinks definitely sweetened the deal. Over the next few months or so I would frequent these places to hang out and get drunk. During this time I got man handled, groped, had my shirt torn off me, kamakazi kissed, been propositioned for sex/blowjobs in bathrooms, gotten countless free drinks, had guys and girls fighting for my attention and dealt with all types of dude.

Ex. Needy guy, Slut, Player, TS girls, etc, etc…

I had been tricked to go with chicks to parties because their “friend” fancied me. Over the span of all of it, it made me more comfortable with the gay community and made me realize some of the shit women deal with. There’s nothing worse in a bar then been constantly hit on terribly. The shit gets annoying real fast. This was the type of place that I knew that there was no way in hell I’d go rolling. Realized that one night while wasted. That’s another plus. The drinks are strong! That and when you are a straight guy at a gay bar you have no competition when it comes to picking up straight chicks out with their gay friends. Also very easy to get hooked up with them. There have been times that dudes have told their friend to sleep with me, that if I was gay he’d want me to bang him so she should do it instead since I’m straight. That social approval allows a woman to follow her instincts without being judged.

Burlington coat factory and other jobs

Due to my location and losing my license for 3 months due to a dui, I was stuck searching the surrounding area for a new job. Only problem- most places were fast food or grocery. I had already done both and trust me they both suck. When I was 15, I worked at subway. I was happy about it at the beginning. It helped me get out of my whopping $10 a week allowance. The job had it’s perks like free food, but also that was a down side because it helped me get fat. A summer of eating footlong double meat subs with 4x the bacon will do that, not to mention the sandwich creations I made up.

After I quit there I worked for dominick’s. Once again a job that was cool at first, but sucked in the long run. Eventually I had it and quit there to. During my time there I did do some fucked up shit. I used to steal alcohol from there. In the back room whenever even the slightest thing happened to liquor like a label coming off a bottle or a beer broke so what was left was an 11 pack, it would have to be put into damaged goods. There was no camera on that area. Trust me I had checked. So every now and then I would help myself to whatever I wanted. Another thing I did was hook up with one of the cashiers while she was dating another employee that I was friends with. I know. It was a douche move.

On to Burlington Coat factory, WORST JOB EVER! My job was in the warehouse. For 7 and a half hours a day, my job consisted of stapling price tags on the bottom of shoes. Yes I could listen to CD’s, but there’s only so many time you can listen to an album while doing that before you want to shoot yourself. While there I became friends with a bunch of the workers. One was this chick Marta. Boy did I have the hots for her. Another was this 17 yr old that wanted to bang me, definitely turned that down. Wasn’t looking for jail time. The third that had my interest was this single latina mom, for the life of me I can’t remember her name. I also became friends with the assistant manager. I was advise by him there not to go after Marta and the single mom because she was married and bullshit about it being frowned down upon by the corporation.

Little did I know that this job would introduce me to another world. Turns out the assistant manager was also a bartender at a gay bar and was bi-sexual, but that’s another story.